How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
