sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
