thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
