their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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