I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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