Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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