What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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