also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
