finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
