sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
