Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
