All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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