All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
