the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
