Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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