Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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