I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
