Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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