I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
