I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
