you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
