I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Houston, we have a squirter
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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