it wasn't lemon gatorade
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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