it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
