i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
