Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
