There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
