does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
