If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Your penis caused this!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
