I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
