Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
