I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
