I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
