I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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