I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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