shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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