i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
