my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
