On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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