: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
