he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
