P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do herpes really smell.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
