i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
