Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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