i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
