he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
