so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
