I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
