I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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