i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
two words...techno handjob
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
